I'm super bad at trying to keep a blog. Its something I'm going to strive to do better at. There are things I want to remember. My "now"s, are one day going to turn into my, "remember when"s. I want to be able to remember then/now.
Three days ago, for the first time in seven years, I deactivated my Facebook account. After a fall out spurred by social media I had a lot of realization. The first thing being that as long as I'm enough for my three daughters, that's all that matters. I shouldn't care about anyone else's opinion of me, or my life. I can't change their preconceived notions. I love my daughters and they love their momma. That's all anyone could ask for. So I'm stepping back from social media to refocus on my kids, to spend more time with them, to be more present in their lives. To make as many memories together as possible. Sydney starts school in August. I want her to have as much fun as possible with me before she starts the 13 year long process of school, then college.
Emma and Allison had their 17monthbirthday yesterday. Emma has 12 teeth. Says hi, uh-uh(like no-no), bye bye, ba-ba, this, and there. She's my temper child. She's feisty as heck. If she wants you to open something, or fill up her cup, she brings it to you and just does a mix of grunting and screeching. Its an interesting sound. She hits a lot, were trying to discourage the hitting, but so far no luck. I love her little smile. She smiles with her eyes and with all her teeth. Its the sweetest thing, but she refuses to smile for pictures. Maybe one of these days I'll catch it on camera.
Allison is the complete opposite of Emma, as far as temperament goes. Allison has 11 teeth. She can say all the same words as Emma. She's a lover though. Allison is a snuggle bug. She loves to give out hugs and cuddles. My favorite is her kisses. She loves to give kisses to her sisters, mom, and dad. She puckers her lips up and sucks half of her bottom lip in, so she looks like a fish. Allison hates to be in trouble. If you get stern with her, her little heart just breaks. She crumples to the floor and throws both hands over her eyes and just cries. They are so much fun. They're a ton of work, keep me busy, and the reason I'm always tired. Being tired is temporary though. Soon enough they'll be teenagers, sleeping in til 1pm, and I'll be begging for them to spend time with me. So for now, I will take the tiredness. There was a great saying that totally applies to my life right now, "The days are long, but the years are short". The tired days seems long, but the amount of time i'm tired for these days will be short. I know I'll miss this.
Sydney... where to begin with Sydney. She is such a fun kid. She's smart beyond belief. She's so funny, I've never met a four-year-old with a sense of humor like her. Her laugh is contagious. For the most part Sydney does so well with being a diabetic. Recently we've had some issues, which breaks my heart, because I don't have a solution. The first thing is that Sydney wants friends that have diabetes. She asks me if every kid in a commercial has diabetes, she asks me if kids in the mall have diabetes, it kills me. I wish, well I don't wish this upon anyone, but I wish we knew other kids as little as her that have it so she wouldn't feel so alone. The second issues is she hates her shots. Were in the process of getting a pump which will limit the amount of pokes for insulin she gets a day from a minimum of 120 pokes to only 10 pokes a month. She's been skipping meals because she doesn't want to get insulin. I can't force food down her throat, but I just keep trying to encourage her to eat something, promising her we'll be getting her pump soon. Diabetes has been a drag lately, but shes still a fun loving 4 year old. Sydney has taken a liking to Katy Perry's song Roar. She sings the bridge and the chorus. Its the most adorable thing ever. I've got her recorded. If I can figure out how to upload it here then I will cause its worth the 30-seconds of your time to watch it. I couldn't help but to think, what better song for her to like?! I'm surprising Sydney on Saturday by taking her to Yo Gabba Gabba Live Holiday show. I can't wait for her to see it!! I'm not telling her anything. I love surprising her. The looks on her face fills my heart with such joy, that it brings tears to my eyes. The last yo gabba gabba show we went to was super fun, but it was right before diagnosis... literally 6 days before her diagnosis. Funny how everything to us is now pre-dx and post-dx.
I'm very excited for Christmas. Trevor and I braved the Black Friday crowds and got all our shopping done in one day. Bing, Bang, Boom, Done. So happy to have that out of the way. The twins are old enough this year to get the idea of ripping paper off the presents, and Sydney TOTALLY 100% believes in Santa. Its AWESOME!! Until you see the sparkle of the magic of Christmas in your own child's eyes I don't think you'll ever know. She asks about Santa, the Reindeer, and the Elves. She told her doctors office at her well child check up that she was going to tell Santa they needed new toys, and batteries. That just goes to show you how big of a heart she actually has. Shes the best kid. I want to start a tradition of making cookies on Christmas Eve for Santa, and carrots for the elves. I'm planning on looking at pinterest to see maybe of another tradition we could start now that shes older and believes.
The girls and I maybe heading to Washington for a month or two to stay with my mother in law. She wants us to come up so she can help me with the kids and let me recoup from the craziness that's been going on. Craziness being that all the kids were sick one after another, then myself, and I haven't caught up on sleep nor fully recovered. I'm excited to go for a little bit. I may not like the weather up there very much, but I do miss the people badly. It'll be lovely not to be so lonely either. Not to be alone for 13 hours a day with the kiddos. Not that I dont enjoy my time, but I miss having someone to talk and to play with me with the kids. It get a little lonely being a stay at home mom, with no real other mommy friends.
I think this has been an adequate update for now. I'd like to be ambitious and say I'm going to post everyday, but I know I won't. So I will try to update at least weekly, and hopefully more.
<3
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