I'm super bad at trying to keep a blog. Its something I'm going to strive to do better at. There are things I want to remember. My "now"s, are one day going to turn into my, "remember when"s. I want to be able to remember then/now.
Three days ago, for the first time in seven years, I deactivated my Facebook account. After a fall out spurred by social media I had a lot of realization. The first thing being that as long as I'm enough for my three daughters, that's all that matters. I shouldn't care about anyone else's opinion of me, or my life. I can't change their preconceived notions. I love my daughters and they love their momma. That's all anyone could ask for. So I'm stepping back from social media to refocus on my kids, to spend more time with them, to be more present in their lives. To make as many memories together as possible. Sydney starts school in August. I want her to have as much fun as possible with me before she starts the 13 year long process of school, then college.
Emma and Allison had their 17monthbirthday yesterday. Emma has 12 teeth. Says hi, uh-uh(like no-no), bye bye, ba-ba, this, and there. She's my temper child. She's feisty as heck. If she wants you to open something, or fill up her cup, she brings it to you and just does a mix of grunting and screeching. Its an interesting sound. She hits a lot, were trying to discourage the hitting, but so far no luck. I love her little smile. She smiles with her eyes and with all her teeth. Its the sweetest thing, but she refuses to smile for pictures. Maybe one of these days I'll catch it on camera.
Allison is the complete opposite of Emma, as far as temperament goes. Allison has 11 teeth. She can say all the same words as Emma. She's a lover though. Allison is a snuggle bug. She loves to give out hugs and cuddles. My favorite is her kisses. She loves to give kisses to her sisters, mom, and dad. She puckers her lips up and sucks half of her bottom lip in, so she looks like a fish. Allison hates to be in trouble. If you get stern with her, her little heart just breaks. She crumples to the floor and throws both hands over her eyes and just cries. They are so much fun. They're a ton of work, keep me busy, and the reason I'm always tired. Being tired is temporary though. Soon enough they'll be teenagers, sleeping in til 1pm, and I'll be begging for them to spend time with me. So for now, I will take the tiredness. There was a great saying that totally applies to my life right now, "The days are long, but the years are short". The tired days seems long, but the amount of time i'm tired for these days will be short. I know I'll miss this.
Sydney... where to begin with Sydney. She is such a fun kid. She's smart beyond belief. She's so funny, I've never met a four-year-old with a sense of humor like her. Her laugh is contagious. For the most part Sydney does so well with being a diabetic. Recently we've had some issues, which breaks my heart, because I don't have a solution. The first thing is that Sydney wants friends that have diabetes. She asks me if every kid in a commercial has diabetes, she asks me if kids in the mall have diabetes, it kills me. I wish, well I don't wish this upon anyone, but I wish we knew other kids as little as her that have it so she wouldn't feel so alone. The second issues is she hates her shots. Were in the process of getting a pump which will limit the amount of pokes for insulin she gets a day from a minimum of 120 pokes to only 10 pokes a month. She's been skipping meals because she doesn't want to get insulin. I can't force food down her throat, but I just keep trying to encourage her to eat something, promising her we'll be getting her pump soon. Diabetes has been a drag lately, but shes still a fun loving 4 year old. Sydney has taken a liking to Katy Perry's song Roar. She sings the bridge and the chorus. Its the most adorable thing ever. I've got her recorded. If I can figure out how to upload it here then I will cause its worth the 30-seconds of your time to watch it. I couldn't help but to think, what better song for her to like?! I'm surprising Sydney on Saturday by taking her to Yo Gabba Gabba Live Holiday show. I can't wait for her to see it!! I'm not telling her anything. I love surprising her. The looks on her face fills my heart with such joy, that it brings tears to my eyes. The last yo gabba gabba show we went to was super fun, but it was right before diagnosis... literally 6 days before her diagnosis. Funny how everything to us is now pre-dx and post-dx.
I'm very excited for Christmas. Trevor and I braved the Black Friday crowds and got all our shopping done in one day. Bing, Bang, Boom, Done. So happy to have that out of the way. The twins are old enough this year to get the idea of ripping paper off the presents, and Sydney TOTALLY 100% believes in Santa. Its AWESOME!! Until you see the sparkle of the magic of Christmas in your own child's eyes I don't think you'll ever know. She asks about Santa, the Reindeer, and the Elves. She told her doctors office at her well child check up that she was going to tell Santa they needed new toys, and batteries. That just goes to show you how big of a heart she actually has. Shes the best kid. I want to start a tradition of making cookies on Christmas Eve for Santa, and carrots for the elves. I'm planning on looking at pinterest to see maybe of another tradition we could start now that shes older and believes.
The girls and I maybe heading to Washington for a month or two to stay with my mother in law. She wants us to come up so she can help me with the kids and let me recoup from the craziness that's been going on. Craziness being that all the kids were sick one after another, then myself, and I haven't caught up on sleep nor fully recovered. I'm excited to go for a little bit. I may not like the weather up there very much, but I do miss the people badly. It'll be lovely not to be so lonely either. Not to be alone for 13 hours a day with the kiddos. Not that I dont enjoy my time, but I miss having someone to talk and to play with me with the kids. It get a little lonely being a stay at home mom, with no real other mommy friends.
I think this has been an adequate update for now. I'd like to be ambitious and say I'm going to post everyday, but I know I won't. So I will try to update at least weekly, and hopefully more.
<3
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Friday, June 14, 2013
D-Mom Fear
Being a D-Mom is.... well.... I don't quite have the adjective for that. Its not like we know what all being a mom entails until were actually having children and living it. Then to get the job title of D-Mom on top of being a Mom. They're all just not what you had expected.
I write this because I read a post from another D-Mom in a group I'm apart of on Facebook. Her 16 year old was diagnosed at age 5. Now that he's 16 he wont check his blood sugar. He wont give himself insulin when he needs it. He has however used his insulin to try to commit suicide. His a1c was over 11%. To put this number in perspective.... and a1c under 8% is what you should aim for to prevent complications from diabetes complications. This complications due to poor management of blood sugars include: Heart and Blood vessel disease, Neuropathy (Nerve Damage), Kidney Disease, Eye Damage, Foot Damage, Skin and Mouth Conditions, Osteoporosis, and Hearing Problems.
I read her post pleading for help with what to do with her son. My eyes started to water and my heart hurt for her. I held my sweet Sydney close, and had to take deep breaths. I had to assure myself that she's still 10 years away from being a teenager. I had to tell myself that I cant worry about the future because I don't know what the future may bring. Sydney may not go through what the D community refers to as "Diabetes Burnout". Sydney may continue to take care of her self after the example of care I've shown to her. I don't give her any strict limitations due to her diabetes. I let her do and eat pretty much anything she'd like. Granted we limit carbs to breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Carb-free things for snacks in-between which is really a healthy diet. We should all try to live by that more around here.
Type 1 Diabetes is something I never knew about pre-diagnosis. I thought only fat people got diabetes. When I heard kids had diabetes I thought their parent must have fed them horribly and pitied the child. Horrible misconception to have. Those uneducated assumptions I use to have are what I have to live with and deal with daily. I have to defend myself and Sydney that this is nothing we did. There's not a way to prevent, nor to cure, type 1 diabetes. Being a D-Mom now, I wish there was more education, more of a push, not just so people understood our children's lifestyle, but so parents could also know the warning signs. I didn't know the symptoms of Type 1 Diabetes. Sydney was in full blown Diabetic Keto-Acidosis when we found out. If there had been more educations, more information being passed out, we could have gotten Sydney help way before she went DKA. I wish I knew of a way to get more involved and to be able to educate more people about the disease itself, as well as, symptoms.
This whole motherhood journey has been more that I could have ever imagined it would be. Sometimes I wonder why. Why did Heavenly Father trust me to have a type one diabetic child? Why did he think I was strong enough to handle everything that comes with this disease? Then to throw twins on top of the mix... Why? That's when I pray, I ask these things, and I feel peace, and a small voice says, "Because you are enough." Then I take a deep breath and everything is okay again.
I write this because I read a post from another D-Mom in a group I'm apart of on Facebook. Her 16 year old was diagnosed at age 5. Now that he's 16 he wont check his blood sugar. He wont give himself insulin when he needs it. He has however used his insulin to try to commit suicide. His a1c was over 11%. To put this number in perspective.... and a1c under 8% is what you should aim for to prevent complications from diabetes complications. This complications due to poor management of blood sugars include: Heart and Blood vessel disease, Neuropathy (Nerve Damage), Kidney Disease, Eye Damage, Foot Damage, Skin and Mouth Conditions, Osteoporosis, and Hearing Problems.
I read her post pleading for help with what to do with her son. My eyes started to water and my heart hurt for her. I held my sweet Sydney close, and had to take deep breaths. I had to assure myself that she's still 10 years away from being a teenager. I had to tell myself that I cant worry about the future because I don't know what the future may bring. Sydney may not go through what the D community refers to as "Diabetes Burnout". Sydney may continue to take care of her self after the example of care I've shown to her. I don't give her any strict limitations due to her diabetes. I let her do and eat pretty much anything she'd like. Granted we limit carbs to breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Carb-free things for snacks in-between which is really a healthy diet. We should all try to live by that more around here.
Type 1 Diabetes is something I never knew about pre-diagnosis. I thought only fat people got diabetes. When I heard kids had diabetes I thought their parent must have fed them horribly and pitied the child. Horrible misconception to have. Those uneducated assumptions I use to have are what I have to live with and deal with daily. I have to defend myself and Sydney that this is nothing we did. There's not a way to prevent, nor to cure, type 1 diabetes. Being a D-Mom now, I wish there was more education, more of a push, not just so people understood our children's lifestyle, but so parents could also know the warning signs. I didn't know the symptoms of Type 1 Diabetes. Sydney was in full blown Diabetic Keto-Acidosis when we found out. If there had been more educations, more information being passed out, we could have gotten Sydney help way before she went DKA. I wish I knew of a way to get more involved and to be able to educate more people about the disease itself, as well as, symptoms.
This whole motherhood journey has been more that I could have ever imagined it would be. Sometimes I wonder why. Why did Heavenly Father trust me to have a type one diabetic child? Why did he think I was strong enough to handle everything that comes with this disease? Then to throw twins on top of the mix... Why? That's when I pray, I ask these things, and I feel peace, and a small voice says, "Because you are enough." Then I take a deep breath and everything is okay again.
Starting to Blog
I want to start blogging. I want to remember the small things in life, the cute things my children do each day, what life was like, just something to look back at and say, "oh yeah, I remember when that happened!!"
This week has been a very challenging week. Sydney was hospitalized due to an awful stomach flu. Her blood sugar kept plummeting and she kept throwing up. It was a nightmare. First time she got sick since she was diagnosed with diabetes back on November 18, 2011. Getting anything gastrointestinal with diabetes is so not a good mix. Then once we got released from the hospital, Sydney ends up with an awful yeast infection, which got infected, on top of the poor thing having a UTI. She got sent through the ringer, the poor girl.
Trevor and I both got Sydney's stomach flu the next morning after we got home from the hospital. So, 24 hours of puking. I thankfully found some Zofran from when I was pregnant with the twins, and if it weren't for that we would have been in the hospital too, due to dehydration. It was awful. Sydney did so well with having both parents out of commission. She made a mess of the house, but did great with entertaining herself and checking on us to make sure we were okay.
This week has been a very challenging week. Sydney was hospitalized due to an awful stomach flu. Her blood sugar kept plummeting and she kept throwing up. It was a nightmare. First time she got sick since she was diagnosed with diabetes back on November 18, 2011. Getting anything gastrointestinal with diabetes is so not a good mix. Then once we got released from the hospital, Sydney ends up with an awful yeast infection, which got infected, on top of the poor thing having a UTI. She got sent through the ringer, the poor girl.
Trevor and I both got Sydney's stomach flu the next morning after we got home from the hospital. So, 24 hours of puking. I thankfully found some Zofran from when I was pregnant with the twins, and if it weren't for that we would have been in the hospital too, due to dehydration. It was awful. Sydney did so well with having both parents out of commission. She made a mess of the house, but did great with entertaining herself and checking on us to make sure we were okay.
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